Milan Men’s Fashion Week: 2012 Trend Report

Hey, pouty!  So, you did not make it to this year’s Milan Men’s Fashion Week…  You missed all the shows, after parties, mingling with celebrities, the delicious food (and drinks), and all that comes with an event of this caliber?

Get over it!  You saved yourself some Euros that you can now put towards a brand new wardrobe, sans hangover.  So, to update your new wardrobe, this is what will be trending at the show.  Now, this is something you should not miss and must have!

Alexander McQueen. Fitted with extra attention to details!

Canali.  Bring out your inner modern dapper. Double-breasted, check! Ticket pocket, check! Cuffed pants, check! Superb, double check!

Brioni.  Colorful, hell yeah! It’s not like we haven’t been begging you to splash your closet with color for sometime now…

Emporio Armani. This seems like a fantastic spring trend. Double-breasted jacket & shorts. We most definitely can’t wait!

Gucci. Did we say color? Yes, color! Patterns! Get out there, out loud!

Roberto Cavalli. Okay, yes, we said color. Now, don’t overdo it! There is a very thin line between awesome and… Well, not so much.

Z Zegna. Across the thin line… An abomination.

Moschino. Built-in cummerbund, denim shirt, bow tie, sneakers, pocket square? No comments, our brains are still processing such a disaster!

Ports 1961. Hands down, the Spring 2013 menswear trend we can’t wait for! Jacket & shorts!

PS, just for the record. Don’t you ever wear this, even on Halloween! What happened, Moschino?!

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What’s Your Look and What Does it Say?

Remember how we talked so much about the power of your image?  How people make quick and lasting assumptions based on what they first see?  A very talented guy that doesn’t look ready for a promotion based on his horrible suit…  A young man trapped in his college years, who might be very capable, but comes off as unreliable.  A very smart person that is not so smart, since he always looks so preppy.  Don’t get stuck with the wrong character!  …Unless you want to role play, and be a bad boy rocker for the night to get some extra attention from the females!

The True Gentleman

This guy looks sharp even in his PJs.  The epitome of a “gentleman,” the highest tier of manhood.  From his fabric and color choices to his always classic accessories, this is as good as it gets.  His spruce and stylish look is a true representation of everything he is and does, always number one!

Who’s That Punk?

Let’s face it, he is out there prowling for his next heart to break, and he will find plenty of girls willing to give it to him.  His black jeans and T-shirt, in combination with his Harness Fry boots, creates his mysterious, rocker look.  Thanks goodness he goes with the wind, so he wont stick around for long.

Swanky, Preppy and Ultra Cool

This guy loves fashion, and he is not shy about letting everyone know about i.  Très sartorial, always looking to push the envelope, he is young and gets away with being young while getting the respect of someone twice his age.  He will wear that great suit fabric you wish you had the, well, courage to wear.  Needless to say, this look opens all kinds of doors.  He might not be the brightest bulb, but indeed, he is the savviest!

Old Corporate

This specimen, hopefully soon to be extinct, usually comes with the worst, unfitted, outdated suit (because of work, you know?).  In his mind, the bad pant pleats are probably part of the dress code, too!  In general. his whole wardrobe is a mess, yet he still wonders why he doesn’t get that promotion.  What can a nice suit do?  It can erase that incompetent look.

John Smith

His look is fitted, somewhat up to date and is just flat-out boring.  You’ve got to figure that you can only do so much with a pair of khakis and shirts in a three color palette range.  Let us tell you something pal, besides boring, that look comes with a big tag that says “lack of creativity.”  Not a good thing to spot, especially when looking for a job.

Let’s Be Friends (Neo-Hipster)

Ah, this kid.  Left his brain, and probably his heart, in college.  Basically a low-rent version of all those way-too-genre-savvy-for-their-own-good kids in Williamsburg, he still wears those funny saying and cartoon heroes T-shirts with jeans and sneakers.  Because his brain is still somewhere in college, this kid is not stressed, he is chilling all the time.  The girls love him.  He is nice, sweet, almost always very funny, approachable…  Harmless.  The perfect friend, and he will always be just that until he finally mans up and throws his whole wardrobe away.  This look is just unreliable.

Special Entry: The Reformed Nerd

Sitting somewhere in a demilitarized zone between formal and casual, this fellow found his confidence and sense of style later than most, and it shows.  Part hipster, part preppy, part “John Smith,” part gentleman, he favors dark colors and sleek lines, but probably dresses a bit too young for his age.  He also probably needs to loosen up a bit!  Open up those collars, man, you aren’t in church!  But he’s come a long way from the Super Nintendo T-shirt days, and thanks to that old streak of nerdiness, actually knows how to polish his shoes and color coordinate, and for that, we salute him!

Off-Season

You know our dear ladies love a man in uniform, and that also applies for major sports athletes.  Some of our ladyfriends daydream off and on about them in the off-season, but mostly, they never get to see or hear from them until they’re back in uniform for the new season (unless A-Rod dating yet another Hollywood goddess).  So we snooped around a bit to see what they look like when they get to pick an outfit all on their own.

The results are surprising, ranging from “ultra swanky” to “I don’t have a style of my own yet” to even…  Well…  “Boring”!  Here are some of those dudes in our favorite (and not so favorite) clothes.

Mr. Dad! This guy is all about the professional, classic, put together look! Kudos, Eli!

Dwyane Wade: always chilling out. This guy is all about having a good time!

Trendy, he is enjoying the extra attention from the media and the ladies. His wardrobe has definitely stepped up to meet his celebrity status. Keep it up, Tebow!

Mark Sanchez is Mr. Nice Guy. He definitely has the look of being approachable. You think he is taking advantage of it?

Manny Ramirez: no words for this. We’re just going to say that matching your shirt to your lady’s outfit in such a way should be an offense allowed only for prom night.

Kobe Bryant is way too cool! He definitely has a bit of that “chill” West Coast thing going on. Other than that, his “I’m way too cool” reputation precedes him even off court.

Dustin Brown, the Guy Next Door. Dude, if you sat next to us in the Subway, we wouldn’t even see you there. It won’t hurt anyone to spice up the wardrobe just a tiny bit.

Robert Griffin III. We hope you find your style, or at least a great stylist, ASAP! From the horrible tux for your “Late Show” appearance to suits and knits more suitable for a 60-year-old man we don’t know. We think the most impressive thing you’ve worn are the nice socks, and not in a sartorial way, more like for the empowering message. Get to your homework, Rob!

Tom Brady is très chic. We guess these are the duties and responsibilities of having a supermodel wife.

A-Rod is hip. This guy really has the New York nightlife all covered!

The Happiest Place on Earth: The DMV!

…Okay, maybe not.  Not the friendliest, either.  Maybe all these factors (plus the 1.5 megapixel camera) add to the bad experience, and, let’s face it, the hideous picture.

So we decided to come to your rescue.  Ladies have an easier way to do this, as they can enhance the bad light and poor pixel count with makeup, but don’t think because you are a macho man, you have to look extra bad on the infamous shot.  We will give you some pointers that will definitely enhance this “amazing” experience.  And you know what?  If you feel like doing makeup, so what?  After all, aren’t we supposed to all be metrosexual now, anyway?

First, absolutely first: the night before your visit, get a good night’s sleep.  You don’t want to look like a truck ran you over.  And leave the hangover for the weekend.

Pictured: a bad night’s sleep.

Before that good night’s sleep, make sure you had arranged for a haircut.  This is crucial for a decent pic!  Neat and tidy hair only!  Also, remember, this is not the best of times to try a new hairdo, as it usually takes a couple of days to adjust to it.

Not like this.

Wash your face with an oil control wash.  Exfoliating won’t hurt either, you will most definitely look your best without that extra layer of dead skin on!

Moisturize your lips.  Dry lips tend to look chalky, and a touch of lip balm can help them stay visible in a photo.

Bring eye drops, either for allergies or for contacts purposes.  You don’t want red, bloodshot eyes in your photo.

Groom your eyebrows.  No, really!  Comb them, make sure they’re nice and in place.  Even trim them if you have to.  We are sure the last look you are aiming for is Jim’s dad…

Look lean.  Give yourself a more trim appearance by angling your shoulders away from the camera very slightly.  Also, bringing your chin up and craning your neck out a tiny bit will prevent the dreaded double chin.  It may feel odd, but it will look fantastic in the picture.

Don’t distract.  Give some forethought to your outfit.  Pick one that you love!  Remember, when you look good, you feel good, and that feeling of awesomeness can be perceived in the picture.  When picking your outfit, follow these guidelines.  Avoid busy patterns.  Solid colors work best, but avoid white, as it tends to not photograph well.  Often, the background for the photos is a light color, and not only will your clothing blend in if you are fair-skinned, you will also look like you are very pale and sickly.  On the other side of the coin, you should not wear black for your photo, either, again, because it will make lighter skin look pale.

Button front shirts look nice, as do V-necks and plain tees.  And no, although your Captain America T-shirt might be your most favorite piece of clothing, this is not the time to wear it.  It is also not the time to look swanky, but rather put together, respectable, like the good citizen that you are!

A very important tip: be nice to the person helping you at the DMV.  Imagine how great it feels to have someone saying something nice and kind after a day full of complaints and bad attitudes.  We have yet to meet the person that will be rude to you after you pay them a compliment.  Plus, it will make you feel good, too!

And last, but absolutely not least: smile!  Who the heck said you can’t smile?

Added Bonus points: A+++ (don’t worry, it’s not makeup) Per-fékt Skin Perfection Gel.  Why do we love it?  Translucent and colorless (it comes in a tinted version that can match your skin tone, too), it instantly improves skin tone, reduces redness and helps minimize the appearance of enlarged pores and fine lines.

Fashion of the Future!

To say that styles and senses of fashion changes a lot over time is…  Putting it mildly.  You would be hard pressed to prove to someone who had never seen an American before that both of these groups of people’s clothes were produced by the same culture:

We hear the powdered wig look is IN this year.

Of course, we’re talking about a separation of over two centuries here.  Surely it’s not as dramatic a change over a shorter period of time…

Pictured: 1820?

Well, clearly one’s sartorial sensibilities changes incredibly quickly over the years, even year-to-year!  Some fashionistas pride themselves on guessing what the popular trends will be “next winter,” usually saying something as groundbreaking as, “blacks will be in.”  But what about the winter after that?  Or 10 winters from now?  Or 100?  There’s only one place where guessing the fashions of the future comes into play, and that’s in the world of science fiction.

Futuristic fashion is no new subject.  While the Pre-Industrial world was fairly static, the incredible pace of change the Industrial Revolution brought with it made it painfully obvious that nothing was sacred any longer.  Futurism suddenly became a very popular subject, and speculation started to run rampant.  And it was obvious that what was once considered impossible or improbable or just downright offensive would be perfectly common and acceptable very soon…

A women's swimsuit from the '20s, which would have likely elicited astonished, scandalized shrieks from lookers-on just ten years earlier.

Fashion was clearly going to be a part of this.

The earliest attempts at guessing the sartorial looks of the future were a bit…  Whimsical.

Vanity Fair in 1939, predicting fashions of the 21st Century. ...What? You don't have one of these in your wardrobe?

The world was changing so much and so quickly that it was assumed that we would completely reinvent the fashion wheel every few decades.  However, an examination of fashions of the past show a simple fact: while the aesthetics change a lot, the basic ideas behind the styles do not change quickly at all.  The modern suit has changed in very minor ways over the past 150 years, mostly in the fine details.  We didn’t suddenly stop wearing blazers and put on lamé jumpsuits.  Futurists have a nasty habit of dressing their denizens of the world of tomorrow in one of two ways: absurdly outlandishly or just like they dress now (but with more zippers, for some reason).

Science fiction’s Golden Age (1930s to the 1950s) stuck to the same outlandishness when it came to fashion in the future.  Silver spacesuits and giant shoulder pads were the norm.

"Tom Corbett, Space Cadet" really knew how to wear a... Um, suit?

The ’60s and ’70s went the other direction, for obvious reasons.  People were regularly dressing like they were from another planet in real life, so not much effort was required to make people in the future look unusual…

Quick, which of these is from "Star Trek," and which is from an actual '60s fashion show?

But a funny thing started to happen to science fiction around this time: people began to take it seriously.  Even while “Star Trek” was dressing alien girls in gogo boots, it was exploring the human condition in ways traditional television had never tried before.  Films like “2001” came out, and treated the future with dead seriousness, actually trying to accurately predict what the future would look like.  Some films, like “Logan’s Run,” remained outlandish, but that was usually a deliberate choice, not a misguided effort to guess the future.  The shift has since resulted in a plethora of films and television shows that offer intriguing visions of things we might actually wear in the future.

1982’s “Blade Runner” presented a dark, polluted and overpopulated vision of the near-future, where some Noir sensibilities had creeped back into fashion over the decades.

1986’s sequel to “Alien,” “Aliens,” borrowed from the nefarious Wall Street yuppie of the time to create the smug, besuited company men of the all-controlling Weyland-Yutani Corporation, while otherwise using a stark, cold, colorless and boring style for civilian and military costumes, reflecting a clearly Spartan, technocratic culture.

The ’90s television series “Babylon 5” very cleverly hinted at what was happening to its future version of Earth with sharply-lined, stand-offish, even Fascistic clothing designs, which makes perfect sense when the show’s human government degenerates into a Fascist dictatorship halfway through the series.

One of the more interesting recent examples is “The Fifth Element,” whose entire wardrobe was designed by Jean Paul Gaultier.  It takes place in 2263, and Gaultier designed an ENTIRE cultural fashion sense for this future version of humanity, which seems to portray a decidedly more sexually liberated culture that has become very fond of color over the centuries.

Really, we could go on forever.  Will any of these particular visions come to pass?  Unlikely.  But we’re looking forward to seeing whatever the sartorial future might hold.

We’ll leave you with just one more example, that will be relevant very soon.  The 2015 sequence in “Back to the Future, Part II.”  Anyone think we’ll be dressing like this in just three short years?

Our New Second Hometown

Since Joseph’s Custom Clothiers opened a new location in Naples, Florida, we thought it well past time for us to introduce all of our readers to beautiful Southwest Florida!

In 2009, Naples was ranked as one of 10 pricey cities that was worth its high cost by US News and World Report (along with our other hometown, New York).  It’s easy to see why!  Nestled between the Gulf of Mexico and the Everglades, Naples combines breathtaking natural beauty with relaxed, sophisticated living in one of the world’s most desirable tropical locations.  There are sandy beaches, world-class golf courses and exciting eco-adventures.  And when you are done soaking up the sun, a vast array of businesses and services, including world-class shopping and restaurants, satisfy every need and desire.  A vibrant arts and entertainment scene, together with an extraordinary assortment of community and charity events, brings a cosmopolitan flair to the Naples way of life.

How did it all get started?

When Florida gained its statehood in 1821, most people thought of Southwest Florida as an area of wilderness and swampland.  It was Walter N. Halderman, owner-publisher of the Louisville Courier Journal, and General John S. Williams, a prominent Kentucky politician, who “discovered” Naples in 1885 and promoted the area as a refuge for northerners who would like to escape the bitter cold winters of the Northeast United States.  It is believed the first sunset they saw reminded the two gentlemen of similar sunsets in Naples, Italy, hence the name, “Naples,” came into being.

Many years passed before any major development in what is today prosperous Naples.  Records show that there were only ten families living near Everglades City, and that there were ten businesses in the area.  The first construction in Naples, in 1889, was the building of a 16-room hotel and the 600-foot-long Naples Municipal Pier.  The pier enabled large boats to dock at the end, and it later became a popular spot for fishing and watching the sunset.

Halderman’s family ran the hotel until 1914, when E. W. Crayton purchased the business, setting the foundation for the beautiful and well-planned city we know today.  In the following year, the Naples Hotel was expanded, becoming the center stage for social life.  A single-lane shell road was built between Naples and Ft. Myers, allowing the city to slowly start to grow.  Also around that time, the first golf course was built, and replaced around 1932 with what is still today the Naples Golf and Beach Club.

But it wasn’t until a visionary advertising magnate named Baron Gift Collier came into town that the city finally got the funding to finish the uncompleted Tamiami Trail, which would provide a much-needed link to the east coast of the Florida Peninsula.  Collier’s plan also included the purchase of Useppa Island in his first trip, and many more acres of land within the next years, allowing him to eventually own over a million acres across Southwest Florida.

Collier also presented a plan during a session of the Florida Legislature convened in 1923 for better drainage and transportation, without which Naples was destined to remain a small town.  Many great developments followed, including an airport, streets, homes, beach restorations and mosquito control programs.  The generosity of many families contributed time and money to provide recreational areas such as Cambier Park, Caribbean Gardens, Delnor State Park, Lowdermilk Park and Fleischman Park.  The city opened a fully equipped and accredited hospital.  The elegant Third Street South shopping area was built.

The building activities of this era attracted new businesses, such as banks, restaurants, real estate and retail businesses.  Specialty shops closed from May 15th to October 15th, with the proprietors leaving the area.  The population doubled during the winter months, providing an active social life in the few established private country clubs and private homes, with cocktail parties, dinner parties and fund-raising benefits.  All of this added up to a great foundation for what Naples has become today:

  • Beaches.  Naples’ white sand beaches are some of the best in the world.  The Travel Channel rated Naples’ beaches #1 in 2005, and they consistently get on top ten lists of the best beaches in the world.
  • Low to No Crime.  Crime is so low, people often move to Naples sight unseen after they Google the Naples crime rate.
  • Noncommercial.  Naples homes are not surrounded by tall, buildings that block the sun and skyline.  The local government has strong restrictions on signs, billboards and building height in the city of Naples.
  • Dining.  Naples has some of the best dining in the United States, on par with major metropolises like New York, Chicago and San Francisco.
  • Pristine.  The word “pristine” comes up often when explaining Naples to an outsider.  It best describes the litterless streets, low crime, small signs, clean beaches, expertly shaped landscaping and conscious efforts of residents to keep it that way.  Neapolitans respect their piece of paradise and work hard to ensure its continued beauty.
  • Boating, Fishing, Golf.  Naples has some of the best waterfront in the world.  Fishing and golf are not hobbies here, they are ways of life.
  • Sunsets.  Sunsets in Naples are very special, to say the least.  Around the time of the setting sun, if you venture down any of the Olde Naples avenues that end at the Gulf, you are bound to be shoulder-to-shoulder with several others looking west.  When the sun hits the horizon, put your cocktail down and join the clapping, for you have just witnessed one of the most sacred moments on the Gulf: sunset.  And, if you’re lucky, one day, if you don’t blink, you will see the elusive “green flash” at the moment the sun vanishes below the horizon.

All of this and more are the reasons there are no questions to ask about why we are so proud to announce the Grand Opening of our new Showroom down in Naples!  If you’re in the area, visit us at:

The Shops at Naples Bay Resort
1500 5th. Ave. South
Suite A2-102
Naples, FL 34102
(239) 530-0070
Fax: (239)530-0072

It’s Almost Baseball Season, Baby!

The 2012 baseball season is just around the corner, and probably is one of the most anticipated in a while.  Lots of new kids on the block with enough swagger and talent to keeps us entertained all the way to October.  Not to mention Bryce Harper, whom some say is “the most entertaining prospect since Babe Ruth”!  Wow!

Anyway, we all love the game and can’t wait to get to the ball park for some fun games, and, of course, hot dogs ‘n’ beer (mouths watering even now).  But before that, being so sartorial, we couldn’t help but go a little Fashion Police on some great baseball uniforms as well as some…  Well, not so great.

Here are our top (and bottom) picks!

Some teams are inspired to get their colors from the flag of the city, state or country they call home. Others, like the '78 Mets, got them from former New York teams who moved literally across the United States. Mets borrow Brooklyn Dodgers royal blue and New York Giants orange in an attempt to soothe tons of broken-hearted fans. ...And in the process, accidentally end up with New York City's colors!

Keeping with the flags, we are sure mainly that was the idea here with the '82 White Sox... We must say that if Captain America had his own baseball team, he would have agreed to tone it down a bit...

The '79 Phillies looked more like Santa Claus or a certain Kimmi Kardashian wearing one of those skin-tight Herve Leger bandage dresses than a baseball team.

Chicago White Sox, August 8, 1976. During a double-header, the boys decided to ditch the normal uniforms in the sweltering heat, and opted for shorts. Quite interesting, especially if you have to slide to second. More interesting, to say the least, is the collar on the jerseys. You know how much we love dress shirts, but we're not digging the jersey version.

All aboard, please, with the World Series Champion '79 Pirates! First, we've said it before, a monochromatic look is NOT flattering at all, and it hurts the eye. The colors of the City of Pittsburgh are black and gold, and all three of their major sports teams sport those colors. But this is just taking it too far! And what's up with the train conductor hat?

The '75 Astros... Until '86. Whaaat??? Were they color blind? You would think that something this hideous would last 2 games max! We can't quite decide what is worse here, all of that hideous color, or the numbers at crotch level? They pushed the rainbow of doom to the shoulders and arms for the away uniforms in '80 and then to the home uniforms in '87, but it wasn't until '94 that this abomination was banished completely.

Oh, NYC, always pushing the envelope. We have to give the 1916 New York (now San Francisco) Giants credit: plaid baseball uniforms. Would love to know who was the mastermind behind this... Concept.

Brace yourself for the brand new 2012 MIAMI Marlins. This is quite a change from the old, standard, baseball-friendly Florida Marlins uniforms. South Beach, anyone?

What we are going to do today, '69 Seattle Pilots? Hmm.... Flying? No! Sailing? No! ...We know, let's play baseball! Geez... Unsurprisingly, they only played one season before moving to Wisconsin and becoming the Milwaukee Brewers.

The Brooklyn (now L.A.) Dodgers. Probably one of the greatest throwback jerseys of all time. A great example that less is more! Classic!

Ahhhhhh! What the heck? These alternate Pittsburgh Pirates uniforms from the early 2000s speak for themselves: they are hideous beyond words. Make the giant bad pirate man go away!

The modern-day New York Yankees, based out of NYC, fashion capital of the world! What is it about these babies? It's probably a mix of it all: the pinstripes, the authority related with the color navy blue, their global recognition, or the many, MANY World Series Championships (27!). Whether you like them or not, you have to agree it is one of the coolest sports uniforms of all time.