Best and Worst NFL Uniforms

Last week, we took a quick look at the three new uniforms being donned by NFL teams this year (we were fans of only the one).  Well, we’re another week closer to the official start of football season, so let’s take a look at the other 29 uniforms, too, and pick the three best and the three worst of them.

BAD

Cincinnati Bengals

257452-cincinnatti-bengals-2012-nike-elite-51-uniformThis one is always controversial.  Some people love it, some people hate it, and no one is in-between.  We actually like the colors and the basic lines…  But the stripes.  Oh, the stripes.  This uniform makes the team look like they came onto the field via a time warp hidden inside your trapper keeper in 1987.  Considering the Bengals’ history since the ’80s ended, maybe that’s not surprising.  The helmet stripes aren’t that offensive, but using the pattern in place of stripes, like some kind of unholy union between football and the female cast of “The Jersey Shore”?  No, no, no.

GOOD

Oakland Raiders

257459-oakland-raiders-2012-nike-uniformYeah, we’re pretty much required by football law to have this one on the “best” list.  It’s just a classic in every way.  Virtually unchanged in 40 years, and with good reason.  The colors are fantastic, the use of them is great, and balanced, the lines and fonts are old-fashioned, but in a wonderfully classic way, not a way that feels “old”…  Even the borderline absurd pirate logo is perfect (can you imagine what horrors would have come out of some ’90s or early 2000s redesign?).

TERRIBLE

Carolina Panthers

257457-carolina-panthers-2012-nike-uniformSo, so dated.  The Panthers uniform is another that has barely changed over the years…  And that is not a good thing.  The Panthers debuted in 1995, and boy, does it show.  The stripes are too wide and awkwardly placed, and that fluorescent blue is eye damaging.

GREAT

Green Bay Packers

257456-green-bay-packers-2012-nike-uniformThe Packers uniform almost always tops these sorts of lists.  They are, like the Raiders uniform, a perfect example of only making minor tweaks to an otherwise unchanging design over the decades to amazing effect.  The color combo of deep green and yellow is surprisingly pleasing to the eye (we dare you to try wearing street clothes that color and making it work), and the logo is as perfect as sports logos get.  The image of the uniform by itself automatically brings to mind images of Brett Favre, Bart Starr, Aaron Rogers, and the entire state of Wisconsin.

HORRIFYING

Jacksonville Jaguars

BIjcNWpCQAANBKG.jpg largeOh, yes, here it is again.  Just like last week, this one is just the worst.  The worst of all 32, in fact.  As we said then, the almost embarrassing attempt to be “XTREEEEEM” is terribly done, with the absurd shoulder stripes, chest badge, and insane two-toned helmet.  It looks like something a supervillain in a comic book circa 1994 would wear.

FANTASTIC

Chicago Bears

257453-chicago-bears-2012-nike-elite-51-uniformPerfect, in every way.  The wonderful, old-fashioned stripes, the great combo of navy blue and burnt orange with white, the “GSH” label honoring George Hallas…  Classy from top to bottom.  The logo isn’t quite as good as the Packers logo, but it’s close.  And, a special bonus, it looks just as good in its road colors as in its home colors, something you don’t see often in the NFL.

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Just Hideous…

During the festivities of Super Bowl Week, we could not help but think about old and sometime current NFL (and AFL) uniforms.  Some more than others because, well, aesthetically speaking, they did NOT make the cut, and we are enormously happy that we don’t have to look at all of them every Sunday (well, except when some smarty pants thinks it’s a clever idea for a throwback week, which they often do).  In any case, we could not help but play a little fashion police with them.  Here are the worst offenders!

There is so much wrong with this one, a throwback to the original Broncos uniform, but let’s just leave it at this: stripes and more stripes are not friends, never ever.  Not even in football!  In fact, these uniforms, the original Broncos uniforms from 1960, were so hated by even their own players, that they burned them in a bonfire at the end of the season!

Dear Cincinnati Bengals: Tony the Tiger wants his outfit BACK!

The Cleveland Browns... Jail jumpsuit orange is only acceptable for inmates.

The Houston Texans' alternate uniform, all red à la Red Riding Hood. À la super wrong, too!

Green Bay's throwback version of the 1940s Packers uniform. What's up with the helmet? And where is the green in Green Bay?

The Seattle Seahawks' alternate uniforms. Highlighter colors are just to highlight words, not uniforms, thanks!

The Broncos again, this time from around 1965. If superheroes had a football team, this would be their uniform. And wow, that horse on the helmet looks hungry! In a very bad way!

The old alternate Dolphins uniform, all aqua. We get the aquatic themed thing, just NOT in a monochromatic edition.

Ahhhhhh! Our eyes! Thank goodness the Bucs went from creamsicle to pewter back in the '90s...